far as I can remember was my thinking and actions determined by love.
Now it was not truly the case that I had grown up sheltered and cared for and had always love people around me, but I have loved, and that unconditional.
All that came into my life - only differently depending on its type, was loved by me and close to my heart. I loved my toys until they fell apart, all that appeared was received in my life and regarded as a treasure - which I gave away, remained in my memory as valuable, as well as the recipient. In my memory all that I experienced what was said, saved, and the faces of the people "were photographed inside" was. As the only remaining abstract things, such as mathematics and geometry, without reference to reality I have always an unsolvable puzzle.
For me much of what I start, the beginning of a relationship, especially in the encounters with people.
shows to live with this kind, I often say that I'm so in, other people often inaccessible reality. Perhaps rightly ...
But a person with the mentality of the attention paid to the acting out of short-lived satisfactions of consumer frenzy, dissatisfied provided in a partnership, in the "functioning" is where the job ever higher performances, he at any time but replaceable, has disappeared in the general conformity - such a man I will never be.
I saw more often, as this world of "me passes," how this world roars and rages, cars incessantly back and forth race, money and goods are moved back and forth, people exploited, used and be dropped, wellness and leisure "consumed" - a rush and bustle at the surface of being - no more time to enjoy experiences, to internalize impressions, let alone a relationship to build anything.
But now feel I, too, in my desire to want to escape my personal stress and the load of the demanded of me duties; feel that my attention to it is aimed to try to escape the everyday madness in which I hold myself but even caught - and note that these relationships are, let me hold on to these things and I with my self-mutilation unconditional love of tried and tested.
"Living in fast-paced ride in the fast lane of my needs, past raging in my own existence, which starts left and ignored in the illusion of lack of time to forget yourself. Bustling and cursing in a constant hurry, seeking to escape my own impression, missing the life, as I run faster on my own abyss.
And so I surrounded myself once again standing in front of me now and look at myself!
The demands of our fast paced world threatens to consume me, too.
I look at my life and I see myself at his mercy, without a single opportunity, this racing influence of the train forward quickly end, insane ideals of society, politics and business as an individual to positively.
The decision mitzurennen or stand still in this eternal endurance, which brings out my personal exhaustion to fainting or Trample the following masses no human results, seems to me only as a choice between two different ways in which way I my NOR healthy organism may cause damage.
The only sensible choice that remains for me, is this race with myself and this kind of life to give up and take my personal failure into account. I still Therefore, only for me to decide for myself - I do not even give up and to get the depth of my existence. No longer like a plane on the surface of my own life away to race and just musing to look deeply with the thought: "Oh, look at this, how beautiful it looks like down there ... how much I want to be there ...! recognize
So I stop in this long race of the increase in the profit figures of global madness and give me a "poor loser", thereby losing my "face" and any recognition as a "service provider", and disappoint all the others,
to me own self be true to stay ...
.. is the only way I win back my being.
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